no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
