We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
