Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
is it fun? or sober?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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