Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
