It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
