I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
