Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
