i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
