If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
