Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Panties = found
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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