So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
