she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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