It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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