He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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