Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Girls should come with a carfax report
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
