Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
