He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
