So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
