I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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