i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
