Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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