You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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