I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
