THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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