whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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