dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
