nutella sex= disaster
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
