you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he was CRYING into my vagina
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
