you would pick up someone in the library
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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