I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
