Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
