can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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