Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
