just tell him i said nine months
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
