This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
