She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
