there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
NoShamevember. You game?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
