Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
