so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
honey bunches of taint.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
