Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
