Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
