Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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