sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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