I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Barsexuality is the new black.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
is wine microwaveable?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
