his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
