I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
