pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
there's paper in my vomit.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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