I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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