Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
