Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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